Why We Fail
by FacetiousFish
Summary: We fail because we give up and we give up because we never had a plan in the first place. She only failed because she had to give up to succeed. OneShot. Slight SamJack


**Why We Fail**

**Disclaimer – I do not own Stargate!! I own the DVDs ;) but not the program! That's MGM's thing!**

**Summary - We fail because we give up and we give up because we never had a plan in the first place. She only failed because she had to give up to succeed. **

**Rating – T**

**Spoilers – Major Line in the Sand and slight Avalon pt1**

**Authors Notes**

**-Okay, the deal with that was – I had writers block and I just needed to write something. I just finished watching Line in the Sand on tape and after listening to What Hurts the Most but Rascall Flatts a couple of times I go this.**

**- I have a couple of other one shots planned and next chapter of Byzantine will be up soon people! **

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Indistinguishable cries followed by the rapid and successive sound of a P90 crackled through her radio as she frantically worked through calculations and formed a near impossible 5 minute macro to make the damn device do…something!

'Cam! You are gonna have to give me more time! This really isn't easy stuff!' more shooting. Followed by –

'No! Sam! Watch out for-' the transmission dissolved into noise. She tapped the button to respond a few times but it seemed nothing was getting through… in fact all reaction seemed to have disappeared from the thing …maybe an EM pulse? They certainly were capable of something like that…if so, the radio would be fried. Useless.

'damn it!' she swore not only for the total cut off she had from the situation, but for the lead that broke free from her pencil and rolled across the page before she had a chance to jot her next calculation 'this so can't be happening!'

She placed the pencil between her teeth as her hand delved into her bag to find a sharpener.

'Sam.' Vala's voice cut through the tension of the room, she sounded calm and almost vacant, slightly unusual for anyone who had just entered from a battle situation, especially the bubbly young alien but…maybe she was just trying to calm Sam's nerves.

'Vala.' Sam replied in the same clipped tone. The hand she was using to fish around in her bag finally returned from its quest for the sharpener. Still studying the screen, the crunching of the blade slicing wood was something she didn't have the time to watch. It was only when the lead snapped again did she realize that Vala's presence could be more than just a distraction

'Vala, would you mind sharpening this for me please.' Holding her gaze on the laptop monitor until the last moment she turned –

'what the-?' Teal'c's staff was armed and uncomfortably close to her face 'Vala what the hell do you think you're doing!?'

'what I need to.'

…She looked so innocent, pigtails rested on each shoulder, bubblegum pink nail polish that she had managed to get away with…even the SGC uniform made her look simply like a child wearing clothes that were a little too big. Everything about her portrayed a freedom and light-heartedness…all but the serious facial features and burning expression.

'What do you mean? Vala, stop being silly and let me finish what I have to do…' Sam laughed lightly, swallowing the lump that had risen in her throat. Vala didn't budge.

'Move.' She demanded, herding the astrophysicist to one side with the staff weapon which, like everything else military that she had on her person, looked just a little too big…

The laptop and with it the only macro she had was the first victim of Vala's new personality.

'No!' Sam was restrained by the weapon as it was turned back on her…she didn't understand… Why was her teammate doing this? 'I can't believe you did that! We needed that macro! Now there isn't a chance in hell we're going to get the Ori soldiers off this planet!'

'It doesn't matter.' Vala's tone was so stoic…so cold…so _not her_. Sam reached for her radio, remembering only when her finger was on the button that it no longer worked. Judging by the fact Vala made no attempt to stop her; she was the one to blame for its demise.

For a moment there was no movement from either of the women, Sam's thoughts rolled over each other, forming and then breaking as she tried to make sense of what they hell was happening here, why her friend was acting this way. When she came up blanks, she used the last option that was available to her -

'Teal'c! Daniel! Cam!' Her cries were cut short and her breath was stolen from her as she impacted with the floor, a staff blast narrowly missing her. Before her mind had time to register even a mild concussion she was back on her feet and trying to escape her opponent. And Vala had the higher ground.

'Stop!' Sam had no choice but to obey the command…there was nowhere she could run or hide…and her P90 had found its way across to the other side of the room

'Please…Vala…just don't-'

Sam saw only the slightest battle of conscience in her attacker's eyes before she was on the ground, pain searing from too many places.

'Oh God…' A clatter as the weapon fell next to Sam. The wounded scientist didn't have the ability to pick it up; both of her hands were occupied with trying to keep precious blood from gushing from her body 'Oh God…Sam…Im so sorry!'

The word "bitch" fleeted across her mind before she realized Vala was unconscious at her feet and her just-to-late saviors framed the doorway.

'Sam!' Cam was the first to her side, and Daniel the first to Vala's, Teal'c retrieved his staff weapon and inspected the damage to the laptop.

'Vala.' Sam wheezed though the pain that possessed her body 'she attacked…I couldn't…I couldn't…the macro is gone…'

'It's okay Sam...Daniel zatted her…just try not to talk…' two of Cam searched through their bags to find a medical kit. Her head shook from side to side, trying to stay awake. She blinked trying to keep the world in view. Then…then she lost consciousness.

'_The wound is serious…'_

'_So much blood…'_

'_back to the SGC…'_

'_Stargate blocked…'_

'_Ori soldiers…'_

'Dad?' the first words to pass her lips with a rush of consciousness – her father. Caught in a state, not quite back with her team, she looked around, looked for him…it took her a moment to remember…he was dead…and the moment after that, his death wasn't the only reason to cry…

'No...It's Daniel.' She felt a small pressure on her hand… as memories of the mission, stepping through the Stargate, shooting Ori soldiers, working on the macro, flooded back suddenly she panicked, snatched her hand away and abruptly tried to sit…

'ahhh!' a cry of pain followed by tears chasing each other down her cheeks

'Sam! Everything is fine! Just lie back down!' Mitchell abandoned the task of checking Vala's bindings to rush to Sam's side. This didn't calm her though, her hand rushed to the source of the pain and her fingers were met with a sticky fluid…blood. The pain became suddenly more intense.

'This…this isn't okay!' she panted, flinching and crying with so many factors that threatened to overwhelm her usually calm scientific mind. She saw her hand, deep crimson; she felt the beads of sweat on her brow and feeling ebbing into…cold.

Mitchell closed his eyes and massaged his temples, Daniel removed his glasses and Teal'c tried not to show a great sadness in his eyes…Vala was bound, in a corner, unresponsive to anything, ignorant to the blood she had allowed passage to the floor and the wound that was slowly killing Samantha Carter.

Sam looked to the ceiling. She could hear Ori soldiers slaughtering people outside and figured that it was Merlin's Cloak - Arthur's mantle - that protected them from the same fate…not that that helped her. She cried not only for her pain but for the needless deaths of the men women and children beyond these four walls.

'How are we going to escape Colonel Mitchell?' Teal'c was the one to ask the question that circled all their minds

'I figured we could wait it out until the soldiers leave and then make a run for it.' The simplest escape plan – the one that was usually the first option was of course the first suggested

'But what about Sam? She hasn't exactly got a paper cut.' There went Daniel, typical big brother…highlighting the situation but not enough to be morbid, or to "give up hope"

'Well…' There was a pause before plan B 'We are about 3 hours overdue so I'm guessing that there is probably a rescue team on the way… Until one or the other option becomes open to us we have enough medical supplies, bandages and some morphine to keep Sam stable overnight…'

'No…' Sam's objection was barely audible 'Leave me. Save yourselves…Save Vala…' She almost couldn't believe she had asked them to save the one who put them in this predicament in the first place…there again…whatever had shot her…that wasn't Vala…She briefly remembered Teal'c's little reunion with his old ways when he was brainwashed by Apophis… Vala did need saving…and the alien woman had a lot more hope than she did.

'No. There is not a chance in hell that we are leaving you here.' Cam objected fiercely. A team was a team and you never leave a man, or woman behind, that was something he knew he would stick to. Always.

Sam took the statement without retaliation.

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Morning came and with it more Ori soldiers, the sun broke on a dirty floor and on 5 just as grubby members of SG1. Alien birds whistled and they continued to sleep. A chilly breeze swept through the room and they slept still. It was only when a prior made a presence in the decimated village at about midday – by the position of the sun – that the first man woke. Mitchell's eyes opened slowly, the first thing to befall his gaze the feet and staff of a prior -

'Woah!' He reached for his P90 and after a scrabble had the weapon in his hands and aimed at his target…of course, when the prior left the building through a wall he realized that the cloak must still be up around them and relaxed.

Casting around he noticed he was the only one awake.

'Oi! Jackson! T!' both men were roused by his call, as was a very confused looking Vala

'What…what happened?' the young woman breathed deeply and looked to each man. None of them responded.

'Sam. Come on! Wake up!' When Mitchell didn't get a response from his verbal attempt of waking his fellow Colonel, he touched her arm to shake her gently…her skin was ice to the touch…

'Sam!' Vala's voice came panicked yet muffled from behind him, his skin paled and his eyes widened…no, she wasn't, she couldn't be…

As he shook her arm an empty syringe rolled across the floor…

'Sam! Argh! Let me out of these stupid things!' Vala tried frantically to escape the bonds that held her, with no success. Tears streaked her cheeks as she struggled…why? Why was she…? What had happened?

After a few minutes Vala stopped struggling.

After a few minutes Daniel picked the syringe slowly from the floor.

After a few minutes Cam realized just how blanched Sam's skin was… and it wasn't even cold.

The sun kept shining.

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Cameron rapped smartly on the door. Closing his eyes he tried to mentally escape the horror of what he was just about to do. When his eyes opened, so did the door.

'Mitchell?' A familiar face greeted him sporting tired eyes, a yawn and some gray stubble.

'General O'Neill…Sir!' He tried and failed to weed the surprise from his voice 'I'm sorry, I was looking for Sam's husband…' the general look mildly startled himself for a moment

'I am Sam's husband.' He talked slowly, trepidation creeping into his voice.

'Oh.' Mitchell stood there frozen, just noticing the wedding band that the other man wore and feeling his stomach collapse into a bottomless pit. This made his job a whole world harder…

'Look…instead of standing there like a moron, why doncha just come in?' leaving the doorway, Jack started down the hall and beckoned the Colonel to follow him. Cam did so, shutting the door behind him.

When in the kitchen Jack pulled two mugs out of the cupboard and switched the kettle on.

'Coffee or tea?' General O'Neill didn't turn around to ask the question and Micthell didn't look up to answer it.

'Err…I'll have coffee please…' He didn't decline the drink…Jack didn't turn around and ask him what he was doing there. They both knew a uniformed military man on the doorstep looking for a spouse didn't mean good news…

'So…how did you marry Sam…without getting court marshaled?' avoid the subject…say anything to avoid giving this pain to anyone else…

'When I was promoted and when SG1 split, Sam went to work at R & D. Because we weren't in the same chain of command anymore we started dating…then decided too elope…she did tell you there were reasons why she wanted that job…'

When the coffee was handed to him, he didn't pick it up; he was still standing, rigid in the middle of the kitchen, dreading the look in the general's eyes the moment he found out his wife was…

'So…Colonel Mitchell…What are you doing here?' The General approached the subject with a tone of cold dread, Cam tried his hardest to keep his bearings as he replied but could not help a rather unmanly tear from breaking through. He stood to attention. Jack didn't tell him to stand down.

'General O'Neill, I am here to inform you that yesterday Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter was pronounced dead by Dr Carolyn Lam. The cause of death was an overdose of morphine…' He saw the eyes of a man who's world was shattered in the space of a few words, he saw a heart break and he saw the world keep turning…even though all he wanted was to make it stop… just to show how special Sam was to this man and to the world. He couldn't stop the world but he could do something… 'It is my understanding she took it to save SG1 sir. She was injured and the village we were hiding in was overrun with Ori soldiers. If we had held out for rescue our shield would have gone down, if we made a run for the gate with an injured team member all of us would have been killed…she was a Hero sir.'

_Sam started awake, painfully aware of the wound and the cold that continued to creep up her body. Her legs were numb and the morphine Cameron had given her was not helping… morphine._

_Vala was still out cold and the men had worn themselves out worrying about how they could escape with an injured team member. They were probably sleeping on it now…searching their brains for a way to survive, a way to be the saviors that weren't too late._

_Her hand groped for Cam's bag and with it the medical kit. She cried as her now dressed wound stung and as her heart broke for what she was about to do…what she was leaving behind. When her hand found the desired item she pulled it towards her and fumbled with the bottle and syringe. She couldn't see the measurements; she didn't really need too. With her vision sliding in and out of focus she watched the liquid slowly fill the whole syringe, morphine was potent, a full syringe meant a fatal dose..._

_It was funny…all this time she had relied on science, equations, solid fact. Her world – and everyone else's often relied on her ability to do what she did. She had spent years fighting false Gods and most recently ascended beings who looked like Gods…but now…now science couldn't help her, now all she could do was hope that there was a God out there to take pity on her, so see that what she was trying to do was good…that she deserved…geez, she didn't know what see deserved…something more than nothing…that's all she could hope. _

_Scrunching her eyes closed she breathed deeply…she placed the needle on her arm…no need to clean a patch first, bacteria wouldn't matter in a few minutes…maybe not even that…shit, she was scared._

_Mustering the courage she took her last breath and said her last words_

'_Im sorry Jack.'_

_With a whisper the needle punctured her skin…she emptied the syringe of clear liquid into her body. _

_It felt strange. Her vision started to blur…and her body felt cold… and … and … and she was dead by morning. _

We fail because we give up and we give up because we never had a plan in the first place.

She only failed because she had to give up to succeed.

'_She was a Hero sir.'_

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**Okay so what do you think? I can take it down if it was really crap! As I said it was just a way to get over my writers block so please don't flame! Not that I want flaming for any of my normal fics either…**


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